In our household we talk about retreating to our ‘caves’ – the little cosy, personal spaces that are our escape places to retreat to and shut the world out of. They are not actually dark, or particularly cave-like at the moment but they have been at times; tents, dens, hidden corners under beds – even under sofa cushions, duvets or in kitchen cupboards at times. Safe ‘dark caves’ are actually really important. We need times where we can relax, guard down and know we are safe and all is well even if only for a short time.
Being ‘out of your comfort zone’ – being in situations, or doing tasks that are really challenging for you can be so tiring. I have been reminded of it this week. It was my turn to lead the singing at the toddler group – something I have been doing in different toddler groups for years yet still very out of my comfort zone! Without fail I come away from those few minutes feeling tired and drained. Context is everything isn’t it, I have sung with my own children, nieces and nephews since forever. How different it feels in a room full of expectant little ones – and their carers.
Yesterday I had a big out-of-my-comfort-zone day. It was an RE ethical debate for the year 10’s at secondary school, and I had been invited (and had willingly agreed I might add!) to be part of the panel giving my views on abortion, euthanasia and faith schools and then ready to answer questions afterwards. Exciting, invigorating, inspiring questions and insights from the students alongside shaking hands and legs and racing heart! I was in need of a darkened room once it had finished! But felt pleased to have taken part. Having the chance to explore different points of view, different faith beliefs and the complexity of these tough ethical questions is so vital. I’m always so thankful that these kinds of debates were always opened up for us around the table at home growing up and that we were always encouraged in finding our own thoughts and listening to the viewpoint of others.
On days where shaking hands and legs, and a racing heart are a big part of the experience a safe retreat space is needed. I would hazard a guess this is a daily experience for many autistic people facing situations, contexts and tasks that are challenging day in day out.
I spent some time at toddlers enjoying studying the church ceiling with a little one who I suspect was escaping to a safe retreat place for a few minutes, away from the noise and happy bustle of the large group (T does the same sometimes – often through a camera lens). We can find retreat spaces even in the most unexpected. Different places giving us that much needed rest at different times. Our loving Father God knows we need these retreat spaces. He offers himself as a hiding place for us. His presence the ultimate safe space of retreat. And just like we fill our cozy caves with things that we need to calm, and refresh us, God our Father’s presence is full to overflowing with love, faithfulness, acceptance and peace for us.
‘..hide me in the shadow of your wings’ (Ps 19:8 NIV)
‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest’. (Mt 11:28)
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.’
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. (Psalm 91: 1,2,4)