Thinking about my role as a Mum (peacekeeper, advisor, cheer leader, servant) for my gaggle of Kids…
3:05 – time to set off to fetch T from school. I am near the end of a meeting of diocesan reps talking about disability awareness in the churches in this area. Andrew is on pick up today. I exchange phones numbers and connect with people, hoping T will be okay with the change in plan… I had forgotten to let her know this morning.
3:25 – get back home. Quick check where (and how) everybody is. Has A got out on his paper round alright? What mood is T in? – it’s swimming lesson later, and the usual teacher is on holiday, will it be impossible or not? A clingy cuddle or few later and I’m getting swim kit ready, and ironing a shirt for Andrew & a dress for me – we’re all planning to be out tonight briefly for a farewell party for a colleague and good friend. Wonder (and fear?) how that will go!
4:10 – have checked in with B upstairs, she’s shutting the world out but okay. So tired at the moment though. Now time to get T into shoes again and walk to the leisure centre.
4:30 – Andrew is ready to drive us down so we won’t be late, now need to persuade T into the car. As I strap her in I’m letting her know it will be a different teacher. She’s had supply before and begins to try to work out which it will be – I know there’s no way of knowing till we get there and see, but nevertheless the trying to work it out has to run its course.
4:35 – we pause to give best friend D a wave and hug on the way past the first waiting area, it’s the routine. Now we can go & get changed ready to swim. The usual cubical has it’s baby changing mat down, so we sort that and discuss at great length why it was left down & who had used it. Hair has to go in a bobble. Pick up the towel and go through to our waiting area.
4:45 – friend from school arrives and having seen, and found acceptable, the supply swimming teacher, she and her friend go to the bench ready for the lesson to begin. I take a minute to catch up with Mums – I can see T finding it difficult to confirm her name to the new teacher. She gets through it, and they walk to the pool.
5:15 – another good lesson, she gives it all she’s got. And she has done her best to try putting her face in water, and pushing off from the side unaided. She has had quite a few good tries at swimming independently on her front. It looks hard work on those hyper mobile joints and muscles of hers!
5:18 – the cubical we use is already occupied, and our bag has been moved. We find our things and we negotiate a different cubical. We have to use the toilet again before we can get dry and changed, which has its’ own checks and routines. We finally get back into clothes.
5:25 – Agreed time to meet Andrew for the lift home to be quicker than usual. We’re not at the door yet. T wants to get a snack from the vending machine near the changing rooms, it what we do every other week (and it’s that week) but we need to hurry. I suggest the machine near the door instead and reluctantly we set off. Andrew has come to find us and hurry us to the car (he’s got food ready for them and we need to be out again just after 6:30). T is finds it hard to deal with skipping the vending machine. I find it hard to keep us walking to the car at the same time as finding the right words and the right moments for hugs or space… so hard to know which will be helpful in each moment.
5:35 – home and sitting them up for tea. The paper round went okay, check; there will be homework to do when we get back with B, check; T hasn’t got an outfit in mind for the next thing which makes things a little easier in some ways, check; Andrew has had a phone call, someone needs a vicar tonight so we agree a time to leave so he can fit that in afterwards; go and get changed.
6:00 – nearly changed. B unsure what to wear. Invite said smart casual which is vague rather than definite but not free for all, tricky negotiations. It’s very tiring agreeing outfits that could be tried on, tiring for B to feel comfortable with a decision. At the same time I negotiate T into an outfit. Lose the battle over socks – flip flops will have to do! I carry on trying to be available to help B. T goes downstairs, can I hear more discussion about footwear?? B reluctant & ready. Time to get going. Grab a few extra distractions & fiddles for my bag. Andrew has persuaded T to let him brush her hair (second brush this week, it’s knotty!)! That makes me smile. Now to the car.
6:34 – who pushed (touched) who? Can I find the right words to calm this before we arrive? I worry, this may all go horribly wrong. Don’t want to spoil our friend’s evening if it does. We’re there. I remind them to hold the door open till they are all out of the car, I remind them about trying to behave quietly, sensibly, without arguing or hitting or kicking or annoying … We are greeted warmly at the door, drinks (glass cups – aghh!!!), hug with our friend – “there are puppies in the garden, come this way”….
8:00 – and we’ve done it… no glasses broken, no meltdowns, some conversations, puppies have been adored, photo with our friend, leaving the puppies behind achieved – to the car, and home. Next, bedtime for T, A needs to relax, want to find out how his day went, B needs to do homework – I’ll need to be there to support that, wonder how long Andrew will be & how it will go, never easy when it’s someone you don’t know…
It’s a small snap shot of a small part of an average, long day. What comes to mind as I jot it down is just how much I need wisdom for my actions, my words, my attitudes; discernment; tact & diplomacy! Thank goodness I know someone who loves to gift people with just those things…because today is another average, long day.