This week is our half term break, usually a time for a family holiday somewhere… but we are doing things a bit differently this time.
B is half way through exams, so we are supporting and encouraging revision and didn’t feel it would be at all helpful to go away. Going away is an upheaval in itself, even when its to a familiar place, and brings extra anxiety. To be honest we have enough anxiety already without doing things that are guaranteed to bring more!
Anyway, a while back we came to the decision that Andrew would take A away for a boy’s week together and the girls and I would stay here, hold the fort & get on with that revision. So On Sunday Andrew & A set off for the airport, and flew to France (eventually – there were of course significant delays, and Andrew & I exchanged sighs of relief that we had not gone down the route of T going with them rather than staying here with me.). So Sunday began for us with the boys already left (4am!) – and with me leading communion at church (so the pressure of having to get there at the right time, feeling composed and ready – and the pressure for T to be having an ‘I can cope’ hour while I was involved at the front!). I know miracles still happen – we did it! There on time, T just about coped when I really needed her to (we’ll try & forget the over clingy wrestle mummy to the floor incident before the service started) and I managed to feel like I knew what I was doing.
When we got back from church we decided to chill – Sims went on, pj’s, hot chocs and no pressure to eat a Sunday roast quickly before the next thing. We pottered, washing, gardening, more Sims for the girls. Chickens, guinea pigs and hamsters all there to cuddle. And finished the day with a girly film together eating cake! Monday was another rest day with no pressure other than what the girls needed (for T that was me at her side & bidding for the whole entire day), ending with face mask hilarity with another girly film and then the usual anxiety ridden bedtimes (I have brought T in with me – don’t tell Andrew!! – it’s easier).
Today revision starts again, and T has had an outing with one of the many wonderfully supportive people from church which has left me a bit of space and quiet to support B & get a few things done – like some writing (and just a little washing-up). Meanwhile physics, biology & more maths being looked at. Tomorrow maybe some English language, along with all sorts of wonderfully intense ordinary just us girls time.
Andrew & A are having a good time too, swimming in the pool, time with Andrew’s brother & wife. Kittens. Books. Outings. Good food, and a much needed break from the intensity of life in a household constantly shaped by autism, demand avoidance and anxiety.