movie night: discussing difficult questions together

 

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summer fun – many years ago

In the middle of the busy-ness of holiday club at church, which we were all part of (proud mummy week!) we made time to sit and watch a film together that A had seen and wanted to share with us. Now this was not, obviously, one to share with T so late one evening the rest of us sat down to watch Hacksaw Ridge (rated 15). If you are looking for a feel good, easy on the eye movie this is NOT it. It is hard to watch, gritty and violent. It is based on a true story of a conscientious objector who was awarded the US medal of honour in America during WWII, showing his decisions and people’s reactions to him. It is a film of inner struggle, the way we are shaped by our circumstances, of principles being lived in the extreme context of war. I’m not sure it would have been one I’d have picked out for a family film night – even though we do almost always discuss what we watch together in the light of our faith and our values.

The most obvious discussion point was of course is there a ‘right’ Christian view on war? Of course this isn’t one neat question and our discussions ranged from ‘What is pacifism?’; ‘What is Just War theory?’; ‘Tell me about conscientious objectors’; ‘Is there a right answer?’; ‘What should we listen to, the God of the Old Testament who sends his people to war or Jesus in the New Testament who doesn’t?’ right through to talking about the Quakers, religious freedom and unsurprisingly Bonhoeffer. None of these are easy questions, with straight forward answers. And in a way as a parent sharing faith I could not escape the background question – ‘how am I supposed to get from what the Bible says to an opinion or a principle that I can live by now in this world?’. So much for a light family movie night, or a bit of time out from the busy schedule! But we do discussion in this family, tired or not we love to grapple with the tough questions together. But don’t be under the impression we discussed until we were content with the answer and then went to bed at peace with it – this is ongoing, and I’m sure we’ll talk together about the same questions from many different angles and in the light of different contexts over the years to come.

 

 

These are not clear cut, neat and tidy discussions with a definite outcome or answer. These questions yet again challenge us to cope with that and live with that – not at all easy especially when life in general is shaped by definites and routines, clear cut thinking. In a way growing up in a vicarage is a tough call for my amazing autists, from an early age we have had to cope with and live with a certain amount of uncertainty, flexible routines and have had to regularly adapt family life around Andrew’s (and mine) fluid working patterns. But when we come to discussions like this I am so very thankful for it, because from an early age we have established (unwittingly) categories, or ‘boxes’ in our thinking to put the maybes, not-yets, perhapses, and yes-and-no’s of life. If we hadn’t we might not have coped with the stresses of the necessary flexibility of our routines! I guess in a way we did the same thing we did for metaphors and similes, we named them and that gave them a box to be put in which made them manageable. The ‘grey area’ discussions need a box in our thinking too, a ‘we-can’t-see-the-big-picture-but-God-can’ box or an ‘its-a-paradox’ box.

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We also discuss in the context of faith, not in the abstract (if there ever can be), in the context of both what we know about God and what we have experienced of God, within the balance of truth and experience. What we know of God from the Bible – all of it, the big story – and the community experience, including our own personal experience, of the people of God in the past and now, all in the light of the work of the Holy Spirit in us.

In order to grow a healthy relationship [with God], we need a good balance of truth and relational experience. It is important that we learn to wrap one around the other, viewing one in the context of the other, so that they are inextricably linked, instead of compartmentalizing them as separate elements. (Parenting children for a life of faith, Rachel Turner)

And importantly we discuss together – there is very little point in me pretending that I have it all sorted out, or that I know all the answers even though there is a feeling of pressure as a parent to give an answer. Discussing together is authentic, grappling with tough questions acknowledging there is no easy answer is real. Modelling real faith to our children is not always easy and neat let’s face it!

 

So, to the questions!

What is pacifism? I have written a little about this before when reflecting on Remembrance Day . The Mennonite ‘Truth and Justice Network’ have some interesting articles about active pacifism, and the Quakers also have some useful resources.

Just War? A detailed essay about Just War theory here gives historical context and ethical basis for the theory. An easier to dip in and out of explanation is here.

Bonhoeffer It is easy to find out about his life, and the painful decisions he had to make during WWII. His wrestling and his response to the unfolding circumstances around him, and his internal, faith values are a powerful testimony of faith and of real relationship with God that shows us the depth of difficulty we have living faithful, faith-filled lives for God and also the peace we can find when our lives our deeply rooted into God. 

What does the Bible really teach us about war? What about the differences we seem to see between the Old and New Testaments? There is a really interesting article about historical context and anthropology by L.Stone which gives a context for us to read the Old Testament passages within. It challenges us to think what is different about the people of God to the people groups around them. There is also a useful discussion on Biblica  which tackles the question head on, and explores how we can understand God’s holiness and judgement revealed to us in Jesus.

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Lent ideas 2019

How very quickly the seasons of faith come around again. Pancakes have been eaten, and today the season of lent begins. What does lent look like in your family life?

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If like me you are still wondering if it might be possible to find the energy to be intentional about remembering lent – and want some ideas to explore, here are some for 2019!

  • Julie over at Happy Home Fairy has prepared a countdown to Easter, 40 days with Jesus’ words. A colourful, ready to use however it fits into family life for you, free printable. I can imagine cutting these out and slipping into lunch boxes, or hiding as a treasure hunt each day. They could be displayed once read, hung from some branches brought in from the garden, or pinned up on the fridge and ticked off day by day.
  • For something completely different, how about a lenten movie night. Great list of movie ideas and activity printables at 1 Cor 13 parenting.
  • Baking prayer pretzels together, info from Mina at Flame Creative Children’s Ministry. 
  • I have adapted a lent-in-a-bag idea I found here at Build Faith, making the written material a little simpler and clearer. Download my version here.

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  • I love the idea of a Jesus tree (like a Jesse tree, but rather than looking at the echoes of Jesus in the lead up to his birth, a Jesus tree focuses on the life of Jesus). There is a lovely free printable by Jennifer at Little House Studio with lots of ideas that could be used but don’t have to be – and some colour in ornaments with devotions.
  • T’s Godmother has sent her ‘Through Lent with Jesus’ by Katie Thompson which is full of daily activities, puzzles and readings. I’ll look forward to looking at that with her.

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If you’ve been following for a while you may remember a couple of years ago I put together a set of free printable weekly activities tied in with my book ‘My Easter Egg Hunt’ which explores why Good Friday can be good. I’ll be posting these again over on my publishing website.

You can also find more ideas for lent on my previous posts about lent ideas.

 

Bible reading together: free printable for scrapbooking with God

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I have been having a think about different ways we can look at understanding Bible stories together when we do manage to read them. There are layers of understanding going on whenever we read the Bible. Understanding of the language itself, and the ins and outs of the stories is happening. But as well as that there is a process of understanding that the story is part of our own story, they are words that give us identity and definition, they shape our own life – this happens on a cultural and a faith level. And as well as that there is the spiritual understanding, we believe this book to be full of words through which God speaks into our lives, words through which the Holy Spirit breathes life into our hearts whispering how we belong, how we are forgiven, how we are loved.

I have produced some doodle pages that might help me enable us to explore these different layers of understanding as we read the Bible together. Each page opens up discussion and thinking in one of these layers.

Download free printable

Book review: ‘More than words’ Hannah Dunnett

Recently B & I have been using ‘More than words’ by Hannah Dunnett in the evenings to help us hear a verse from the Bible every day. It is a beautiful book, we picked it up in the summer – instantly attracted as we have some of her framed prints up in the house and love them.

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Firstly we loved having words of scripture to read presented in such a visual way. Each new painting inspired us to think and chat about verses we knew well in new ways. The colours and contexts that Hannah’s paintings use are full of meaning and for us – both being very visual thinkers – this was a very accessible way to reflect on the Bible together.

Hannah’s own reflections on her paintings are printed alongside each one and form the beginnings of an invitation to reflect for yourself as you trace the words of scripture through, within and around the paintings. They are followed by a small selection of open questions, and space at the end of each grouping of paintings with space for notes. To be honest we didn’t stop and read the questions this time, we had enough to talk about and think about without them. But it’s great that they offer another layer of reflection that we can return to next time we go through the book together.

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I wish we had bought two copies, it would have been easier probably to both have a copy to look at closely and it would have meant both of us could more easily pick out the verses we were particularly draw to. But having said that (and lets face it, it’s easily solved!)  we really enjoyed using the book together and would really recommend it as a different focus for Bible study and quiet with God.

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Being thankful

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Autumn is here! A time for gathering in and taking stock. Plums, apples & whatever soft fruit and veg I have successfully grown. It’s a time of change and a time for re-grouping somehow I always feel. And of course a time of thankfulness. For us crunchy leaves also mean birthday season – so much to give thanks for. But it’s been a tough month to be honest… with so much newness everything seems to have taken a lot more energy than usual. So I’m looking for practical, calming activities to remind myself to give thanks and count all those blessings!

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Doodle thanks I can’t help but doodle my way through life, so this one wasn’t hard to find. Simple… paper and a pen, add a few things when you have a moment to sit down each day. Wouldn’t it be great to display a whole family’s set of doodle thanks. Or maybe start a big communal poster that everyone can add to throughout autumn!

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Jars of thanks: again, not a new idea. We have collected thanks in jars at other times too. It’s lovely to fill a jar together over a few weeks and then have a celebration get together and read them all out. A prayerful activity that grows gratitude in us. These jars were washed out plastic hot chocolate jars (quite astounding how many of these I accumulate!) decorated with foam stickers. We made them at our church’s monthly accessible service.

 

Contemplative colouring: a new design for our celebration of Harvest at church. Please follow the link to print out a copy and enjoy. The idea came to me as I was thinking about surviving those downpour moments in life, when you feel under a cloud and nothing is easy or going smoothly. As I chatted to God about how tough things felt we imagined this together, going one step further than ‘learning to dance in the rain’ we turned the umbrella over and began collecting the rain. I was reminded of the imagery of God’s blessing being poured out, being like rain on thirsty ground. So much rain that it is more than enough blessing for me and for me to share with others. Abundant blessing in the midst of the storms of life. It helps me to stop with an activity like this and deliberately become more aware of the blessings God pours into my life, it makes thankfulness bubble up again.

Books: There are so many good books out there that help us explore thankfulness, and get us talking about gratitude. ‘The world came to my place today’ by J Readman & L Roberts is great for thinking about how many other people and places have had a part in bringing what we need and want to our homes. The classic ‘Wonderful Earth!’ by N Butterworth & M Inkpen is one I go back to over and over again which helps us think about taking care of the gift of creation. Someone recently reminded me of Pollyanna by E H Porter, and the glad game. It’s not one we have so it’s now ordered and on its way! My own book ‘My Easter egg hunt’ explores all that Jesus has done for us and ends with an emphasis on our thankful response.

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Bible story: Looking at the story of the ten lepers who were healed by Jesus would be interesting. Mina has a lovely way of retelling the story over on Flame Creative Kids  It would be fun to go on and each make a chain of 10 paper people, and challenge ourselves to have said thank you 10 times by the end of the day. Or perhaps make some gingerbread men to help us remember.

Bunting: We have often made decorated paper bunting – I have hooks at the ready on one of the kitchen walls. Paper cut into triangles or flag shapes, newspaper, colourful plastic bags, pressed flowers – you get the idea…almost anything can look great as bunting. For thankfulness, at Harvest or Thanksgiving time how about leaves. Decorate with metallic sharpies or marker pens, writing or drawing some of the things we are thankful for. Then laminate them (may need to go through the laminator more than once) and they will keep their colour and hang really well. A hole punch at the top of each and as simple as that you have autumn thankful bunting.

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