Easter holidays

 

When the school break happens leading up to Easter it’s a little tricky in our house!

A lot of patience was required from B, A & T as Andrew & I worked and prepared different services and events. A lot of patience was required by Andrew & I as the kids needed help relaxing, finding things to occupy themselves with and completing work.

In the end we began the holiday fortnight digging out a new pond in the back garden, with A designing and directing, me digging when I could and finishing other things when I could, and T with a trowel & paint brush checking for archaeological finds! Andrew mostly in the study or out for work, and B also working.

We found some fairly recent broken house tiles and the remains of a garden brick wall we think – and perhaps some pieces of a not-so-old plant pot! We also finished a pond.

As you can imagine it was a lesson in ‘I am simply not good enough, I can’t do all this without help!’ My patience has limits, each day has limited usable time, and lets face it washing clothes (and people!), cleaning, tidying, food (though Andrew handles that thankfully) and time together all still have to happen – sleep is apparently still fairly optional in our house but that’s another blog! Where does my help come from??!

I look to the hills!
Where will I find help?
It will come from the Lord,
who created the heavens
and the earth.

The Lord is your protector,
and he won’t go to sleep
or let you stumble.
The protector of Israel
doesn’t doze
or ever get drowsy.

The Lord is your protector,
there at your right side.

Psalm 121 (CEV)

There’s a limit to how far you can dig deep into your own resources, or at least that seems true in my experience. I’m finite. I’m not brilliant at everything. I’m tired – genuinely, mentally, physically and emotionally tired. I’m not enough many days. My faith in a faithful God is where I go for resources that go beyond my own; like walking uphill on a hot day and finding a well overflowing with cold pure water.

There’s no limit to how far you can dig deep into God’s heart finding love bigger, greater, stronger than you can ever imagine; patience that can outlast eternity; peace – real peace; forever new beginning forgiveness; mercy; being known, heard, understood; home…

 

It was I suppose a good context for Easter celebrations in the end. I went into Good Friday knowing I desperately needed help and forgiveness, knowing I couldn’t make it on my own. And found as if for the first time, as always, surprising mercy and love flowing from the heart of our full of life God.

 

 

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missing Curly Grandad: doing grief together

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Some days it can feel like it has been a lifetime since my Dad died suddenly, other days it could have been yesterday. Grief is a funny thing.

My children have experienced close relatives dying – perhaps more than I thought they might when they were young. B & A were little when Dad died, and almost straight afterwards my Grandad – Dad’s Dad – also died. Before that we had also experienced the loss of other loved members of our extended family.

There is no instruction manual for grief. It is a complex bundle of emotions; sadness, emptiness, anger, confusion, numbness, fear, love, acceptance, hope, thankfulness… and of course family don’t experience these emotions in sync with each other, there is no ‘order’ to feel them in. It can hit in waves, it can leave you feeling guilty on days which feel ‘normal’. It is difficult to navigate for yourself, and difficult to walk alongside others. As a Mum all I could do was walk gently with determination, loving my husband and children as we each waded through different reactions and emotions. Praying for wisdom and strength to face it together, and to share our hope in Jesus with B & A.

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I am certain it was important that we were open with our children about their Curly Grandad (he was the Grandad with curly hair of course), ready to talk about what we all missed without him there. I think it is also important to be open to sharing how we have felt at different times or at different occasions – not always the easiest for super-introvert-me. But I am convinced that talking together openly has been important in walking through this together.

..’children can empathise with and show compassion for peers that have been bereaved. Children aged between five and ten often copy the coping mechanisms that they observe in bereaved adults and they may try to disguise their emotions in an attempt to protect the bereaved adult. The bereaved child can sometimes feel that they need permission to show their emotions and talk about their feelings.

The important thing is to let them do this. Avoid remarks such as, “Come on be a big brave girl for mummy” or “Big boys don’t cry”, such comments however well meant can make children feel they need to hide their feelings or that what they are feeling is wrong. This can cause complications as the bereaved child develops.’ (Cruse)

There were also a multitude of questions that my children had – and perhaps still do. Being as young as he was, A found it difficult to understand the finality of death and for a number of days was looking for Curly Grandad and asking where he was. Strangely T, even though she was born a number of years after Dad died, has gone through very similar stages with us and has also brought her questions about death and how it works. It’s not at all easy to answer questions that need factual detail when you yourself are struggling to come to terms with your loved one’s death. How I wish I could have found a reference book that had all the answers printed out for me at that time. How I wish we could have thought to talk about these topics at a time when we weren’t reeling!

 ..’it is important that the cause of death, the funeral and burial process and what happens to the deceased person’s body are explained in a factual and age appropriate manner to the bereaved child. Children will ask many questions and may want to know intricate details pertaining to the death and decomposition of the body. Again, it is vital that children have such details explained to them clearly so that they understand.’ (Cruse)

It was out of the experience of the first few weeks after Dad died that I began to write. As a Mum of my two very curious, needing detail children, I was looking for the right words, the right way to explain and open up the Bible with them. It was important to find ways to share our faith, our hope because of Jesus about life and death with them. So ‘My Curly Grandad’ was written, partly for them, partly an expression of my own grief and partly for Mums like me needing help finding words and a way in. In writing down their experiences and questions, and weaving Jesus’ good news throughout the story I pray that it spoke to them where they were. I pray now, as it is finally published, that it will speak into other family’s lives and hearts as they walk together in faith, love and grief.

Easter photo diary

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So sorry to have missed posting last Thursday, it has proved a very busy couple of weeks. So rather than missing another week, I’m hoping you won’t mind a post with more photos than words! (probably a welcome relief!!)

Last Thursday schools finished for the Easter break, and simultaneously Andrew’s parents arrived for the weekend and we all went to church to ‘help’ set up for Passover – it helps considerably to get there ahead of the crowds.

Passover itself went as smoothly as could be expected with a very tired T who didn’t really want to be there! The ramp up to the front of church was a useful escape place a couple of times, and we averted a meltdown by escaping to a corner to calm down. So thankful for the support of church family at these events – no tutting or staring, just acceptance! And wonderful friends who are able to coax T and distract her when I’m reaching the end of my patience…

Good Friday was a spacious, informal hands on experience at church. Thinking about Jesus’ hands and our own. It was meaningful, poignant as always to be exploring faith and reflecting together with all ages and abilities.

Followed by a family afternoon with all its usual ups and downs, finishing with popcorn & a film.

We survived Saturday!

Easter Sunday was an early start for Andrew, followed by a whole church family celebration with bacon butties which the rest of us joined for. Afterwards a lovely table full of guests and good food for lunch, then back to church for our accessible service in which we explored clues from the Easter story to find out what happened to Jesus & his friends.

Since then our visitors have travelled home, it has rained – a lot!- we have had lazy pj days with lots of TV, some gardening, some tidying, some window washing (I know, what came over me!), table sanding, sleepless nights and talk of revision, and of course chocolate eating!!

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Did it really happen? Evidence for the Easter story.

So, I have plenty of ideas for telling the Easter story at home but when it comes to the inevitable difficult questions like ‘Did it really happen?’, ‘How do we know he came alive again?’ am I ready??

I feel no need to justify God, he can defend himself! However, there are plenty of resources out there that can give me help in exploring these tough questions with my inquisitive, need-concrete-facts, take-nothing-at-face-value children. So I thought I’d get a bit ahead of the questions when they come and remind myself of some of the evidence.

There is plenty of written historical evidence that would be considered trustworthy that suggests Jesus was a real historical figure. The Gospel ‘witness statements’ refer to places and events that there is archaeological evidence for, and they give accurate descriptions to those places and things.

“The historical evidence for Jesus of Nazareth is both long-established and widespread. Within a few decades of his supposed lifetime, he is mentioned by Jewish and Roman historians, as well as by dozens of Christian writings. Compare that with, for example, King Arthur, who supposedly lived around AD500. The major historical source for events of that time does not even mention Arthur, and he is first referred to 300 or 400 years after he is supposed to have lived. The evidence for Jesus is not limited to later folklore, as are accounts of Arthur.” (Dr Simon Gathercole, an article in The Guardian)

I can explore more about the archaeology that is providing evidence showing Bible stories to be historically accurate. www.biblicalarchaeology.org 

This second-century graffito of a Roman crucifixion from Puteoli, Italy, is one of a few ancient crucifixion images that offer a first-hand glimpse of Roman crucifixion methods (https://www.biblicalarchaeology.org/daily/biblical-topics/crucifixion/ancient-crucifixion-images/)

We can also find evidence – written accounts, early pictures and engravings, of crucifixion as a method used by the Romans during the right time frame. We can find out more information than we would want to about usual practice, and what crucifixion involved and see the way that the Gospel accounts describe it is an accurate one.

© 2009 AllAboutGOD.com

“In 1968, an ancient Jewish cemetery was unearthed during construction. There, a heel bone was discovered in the grave of a young criminal that contains an iron nail matching the record of crucifixion. Remnants of a wooden board are still attached at one end, where the nail was bent over to hold the foot on the cross.

It appears the nail hit a knot in the wood of the cross and didn’t allow removal of the body without serious damage. Therefore, the family conducting the burial probably chose to leave the spike in the bone and cut away a section of the wood. The heel bone dates to the first century AD and provides grim evidence for the reality of crucifixion.” (www.allaboutarchaeology.org)

There is evidence from outside the Gospels to look at that also confirms that Jesus was killed in this way. A Roman historian called Tacitus, and a Jewish historian called Josephus both describe Jesus as having been crucified. There is similar reference in the Babylonian Talmud, some Jewish writings. All of these texts are early accounts, not written later with hindsight or loss of information. And they all contain the same facts, Jesus was crucified, Pontius Pilate ordered it, Jesus was a notable figure who had followers.

© 2009 AllAboutGOD.com

“Do we have evidence for Pontius Pilate outside the biblical texts?

In 1961, archaeologists discovered a plaque fragment at Caesarea Maritima, an ancient Roman city along the Mediterranean coast of Israel. The plaque was written in Latin and imbedded in a section of steps leading to Caesarea’s Amphitheatre. The inscription includes the following: “Pontius Pilatus, Prefect of Judea, has dedicated to the people of Caesarea a temple in honor of Tiberius.” Emperor Tiberius reigned from 14 to 37 AD. This matches the biblical timeline that records Pontius Pilate ruling as governor of Judea from 26 to 36 AD. (www.allaboutarchaeology.org)

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“The documents produced by Christian, Jewish and Roman writers form the most significant evidence.

These abundant historical references leave us with little reasonable doubt that Jesus lived and died. The more interesting question – which goes beyond history and objective fact – is whether Jesus died and lived.” (Dr Simon Gathercole, an article in The Guardian)

So, then on to the questions about Jesus coming alive again. We have evidence to back up the story that he really died. But then what?

The Gospels all have the disciples finding an empty tomb. Matthew’s Gospel also tells us the Jewish leaders began spreading the rumour that the disciples had stolen the body to make it look as if he had risen from the dead. Even they were in agreement that the tomb was empty! And this is confirmed in some early Jewish writings called ‘Toledoth Jesu’.

It is also interesting that the man who takes Jesus’ body and places it in an unused tomb is a Jewish leader himself, Joseph of Arimethea. He would have been well known, part of the Jewish high court. It would not have been possible for him to be written into the accounts of the Gospel within seven years of the event if this had not been true. And this being true also gives an inherent accuracy to the rest of the account.

It has also been said that the accounts of the empty tomb have women as eye witnesses, women spreading the news. If Jesus’ disciples had wanted to start a fiction, a legend then they would almost certainly have had men as the eye witnesses to the empty tomb, and men would have spread the news. In that time a woman’s evidence was not recognized in court, their testimony was thought of as worthless.

All the Gospels talk about Jesus appearing to his disciples in the days after he had died. They each contain eye witness testimony. Not just factual accounts but accounts as felt, seen, and interpreted by people. “These eyewitness testimonies speak to us
from the inside of the events, experienced by those who recognized the
disclosure of God in them.” (Richard Baukham) There is a consistency between them as well as each being unique. They are personal accounts that also pass on theological understanding.

Outside the Gospel accounts there is evidence from Tacitus, Josephus and also Pilny the Younger, a Roman Imperial Magistrate that the followers of Jesus did not stop, weaken or disperse after the crucifixion and the testimony about the empty tomb. Rather they grew dramatically in number. Were observed to worship Jesus, as they would a god. It is written that they met together weekly to worship despite growing persecution of any thought to be Christians.

“..the Jews or Romans had no motive to steal the body–they wanted to suppress Christianity, not encourage it by providing it with an empty tomb. The disciples would have had no motive, either. Because of their preaching on the resurrection, they were beaten, killed, and persecuted. Why would they go through all of this for a deliberate lie?” (Matt Perman, on Desiring God) 

It is good to refresh my mind about all of this before the questions come my way. Not that it’s my place to ‘convince’ any of my children but it’s important to me to know that I have gathered resources so I can explore with them the best I can. ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), or ASC (Autism Spectrum Condition) as it’s more often becoming referred to as in recent months does mean for us, in our house that facts are important. Knowing why, knowing detail, being thorough (and intensely focused) are all important in life, and so they are important in exploring faith too.

Easter contemplative colouring

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I have been busy drawing some brand new Easter colouring designs which I am excited to share here as free printables.

Click here for ‘I have loved you’ full image

Click here for ‘new creation’ full image

We use the designs here at home, enjoying time colouring in and talking together responding to the words. I know some have been used in schools, youth groups and church small groups. Thank you for your feedback, it’s an encouragement to know the designs are being useful – and enjoyed!

This week we have also spontaneously made an ‘Easter joy’ garland for the kitchen from some artificial flowers that we unexpectedly acquired. I had some wooden heart cut outs waiting in the wings for the right moment too so they have come our to join in. We thought about hope-full words that help us describe the wonder of the gift of Jesus’ death and coming alive again. Words like: rescued, forgiven, love, peace, joy, saviour…

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Easter Joy garland

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The garlands came together quite quickly, lots of the flower stems were wired and could bend and twist around the previous one. Some needed extra wire around them to keep them in place, but not many. Then I simply attached some string on either end (I made it in two halves) so I could hang it up on our existing hooks that I use for all kinds of bunting throughout the year. The wooden hearts were easily coloured with sharpies, and I hope to tie them into the garland with some Easter coloured ribbons when we’ve finished – in time to help us celebrate on Easter Day.

 

We usually plan an Easter egg hunt in the garden too, and this year I have come across this lovely idea on ‘Bless this mess please’ for an Easter Day walk and scavenger hunt looking for things that are visual and tactile reminders of the story.