planning for holidays

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The summer holidays are nearly here!!!

(I say, half excited half terrified!)

It’s altogether a little bit overwhelming at the moment for the Porter family. The heat has been incredibly intense for us – keeping cool in hot weather brings with it particular sensory challenges. Noisy fans, different from usual clothes, sun cream, extreme brightness, open windows (noise we don’t usually hear in the house, insects coming in)… Of course it also gives us sensory opportunities to enjoy – I have written before about some of our favourite hot weather sensory activities – and we also discovered ‘skidding ice cubes with kittens’ this week too.

We are also near the end of term so there are lots of extras going on, each an exciting new challenge which is tiring for all of us. And there are more in the next week too – services, concerts, parties and BBQ’s.

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Do you like to plan ahead for school holidays, or do you prefer the freedom to be spontaneous? I am so looking forward to the pressure of the school mornings being lifted, but I do not like the thought of no routine at all – if I feel we need a day without any structure at all it has to be planned ahead for! And we call it a pj day – then it has expectations and routines all of its own! The first three weeks we have planned for us: the church holiday club (all of us involved either as leaders, young leaders or part of a group), then straight to New Wine summer conference followed by holiday in our usual campsite. Each of those weeks has their own order and lists, usual things to pack, play and do.

When we get back we have some time based at home, Andrew will be back at work and I will be balancing our need for ‘down time’ – lots of time for special interests; family together time – maybe a familiar outing or two; get together with friends; and getting us prepared for a new term – lots of questions, worries, fact finding and getting used to new uniform (not to mention the dreaded shoe shopping!).

I usually find it helpful to have ‘ready to go’ crafts, and games all to hand before the lack of routine (and anxiety) makes it almost impossible to plan and prepare anything.

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Here are some of my favourite go-to sites:

I love the ideas and printables on RedTedArt – great ideas for activities and crafts with everyday things, bookmarks and models to print and make.

A lovely list of (mostly) no prep outdoor ideas with notimeforflashcards

Always lots of new fun meaningful ideas with flamecreativekids

I will be busy collecting ideas I find on one of my pinterest boards

 

 

 

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fun memory verse ideas

We are very caught up in revision at the moment, right in the middle of exams for B.

There are a lot of things to remember – not my best skill! (thank you long term sleep deprivation & anxiety) – formulas in science, definitions, quotes in English and RE. B actually has a really really good memory, and if she is engaged in the learning – if focused, definite, clear cut things get stuck so quickly.

Yesterday we were praying before leading our junior age church club, Blast, and listening to T beeping the numbers on the church key safe to help by getting the keys to open the main doors. She’d been allowed to do the code once before a few days previously and of course, yes, she could do it. The number sequence was at her fingertips. To me that kind of memory seems like a superpower! I simply cannot remember number sequences at all, and am pretty hopeless at recalling definite factual information from memory.

For me, remembering and being able to bring to mind verses from the Bible effort has to be intentionally put in. I know I want to. I know it’s not going to come easily. I know I have to put in the work. With all the focus on revision though at the moment, I am questioning whether I am sharing that hope and expectation about Bible verses. Do B, A & T even think about why or if its important to know verses and be able to bring them to mind? Am I sharing with testimony with them, of times when verses have powerfully changed a situation or strengthened me or someone else? They are naturally gifted with the ability to remember, am I encouraging them to remember the Bible?

I remember a season with A when he was facing night after night of nightmares which were vivid and difficult to move on from and find rest again. We taught him a tiny snippet of scripture;

‘…perfect love drives out fear…’ (1John 4:18)

thinking together about who we knew who was perfect love, and how strong a word ‘drives out’ is. Over a stretch of nights we spoke it before sleep, and when the nightmares came showed him how to speak it out and cling onto Jesus who is perfect love. We imagined Jesus like a superhero/ninja standing tall and kicking his fears out of the door, down the stairs and out into the driveway. We imagined him coming back into A’s room and standing guard till his angels took over again. Sometimes we actively did the kicking alongside Jesus, kicking his fears out of the room as we reminded each other that Jesus, perfect love, was with him fighting for him. We learnt it to the point when some nights we simply spoke out ‘perfect love’ as we sat with him, welcoming Jesus in and waiting for sleep to come again. It reminds me how precious scripture is for our children, how much I want them to delight in it and know it.

So some fun ideas to learn memory verses:

  • love this idea from #flamecreativekids of a dice race… who can be first to roll the dice and be able to say the verse in order.
  • of course, I’m immediately reaching for doodling and colouring… my latest colouring verse was designed for a friend leading an after school club wanting a verse to reflect on.

 

  • following #godventure on social media means I now have the yummy idea in my head of icing parts of a memory verse onto different cupcakes so they can be arranged, remembered and eaten! Love the symbolism of that.2016-06-11 10.19.17
  • using lego, bricks or playing jenga with words from the verse on the blocks.
  • Making up actions to go with the words.
  • Enjoying a song that uses the words, T would be wanting to dance too.
  • Making a nature or magazine collage of the verse together and pinning it up in the kitchen.
  • playing charades to find the words
  • a treasure hunt for the words
  • make bunting or a set of decorations that can display the verse. IMG_20180602_232001_387
  • using different voices, or accents (both T & A find this funny)
  • use fabric pens and design a T-shirt or a tote bag with the verse on.
  • challenge each other to see who can use the verse in everyday conversation!

Please do comment with your favourite ideas for fun memory verse learning!

SOS!

Now what do you do when a good friend at church brings you a present – a bag of spare salt dough! Roll up your sleeves & dive in of course…

I’ve been pottering, in between everything else, putting together some ‘SOS adventure bags’ which I hope will eventually become a bit of a library of resources for families at church. SOS comes from the name of our church’s accessible service ‘sense of space’, but I love how it also means ‘help! rescue us!’ it seems incredibly apt on so many levels! Each bag is essentially (I hope) going to be an all age story sack with resources and ideas – with SEND in mind – for exploring a Bible story at home together.

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So far I have made a start with two very visual ones… Jonah, and Noah – both of course with plenty of scope for imaginative play ideas, colourful and sensory rich exploring experiences and good storytelling. Also both with really tough themes, God’s generous forgiveness (and our struggle with it), and God’s holiness and righteous judgement (and of course our struggle with it!).

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So I am now on the look out for just the right books to add to both of these, I’m thinking testimony/biography, short enough, inspiring and gutsy. I’ve also bought a prism which I need to make a little bag for – to explore rainbows and God’s promises. There are activities and website addresses to find out more in these too – which may need occasional updating but I love the idea of them being a rich & varied resource that will have something in to appeal to each member of a family (hopefully).

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Noah bag so far has: a rainbow dice with prayer ideas for each colour; a puzzle; an ark 7 animal playset; suggestions for imaginative play together to explore ‘rescue’; a lovely version of the story by Susie Poole; the prism with suggested activities; invitation to play a memory game to explore ‘remembered’; and hopefully a biography.

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Jonah bag so far has: story book (Lion childrens ‘my very first Bible stories’); a recipe for stained glass heart biscuits; British sign language signs to learn ‘I love you’, ‘sorry’; a big fish & a Jonah to play with, a sensory sand prayer tray in a tub – with prayer prompts in; a Topz diary (by CWR) looking at forgiveness – mine loved these in their tweens; a suggestion for play to explore hiding; a suggestion to measure things to explore how big God’s love might be; and a link to find out more about Ninevah and what we know about it from archaeology. And then a book for the grown ups to be decided!

So anyway, back to the salt dough… we rolled up our sleeves and dived in. My mind went straight to these bags. What about hanging decorations with a verse written across a few that can be hung in order and learnt? What about fish – they are not something I have a playset of – beautiful colourful, individual fish could make lovely tactile prayer prompts or be played with…

Then hands, and hearts. So many stories could be explored and experienced in a new way through these tactile shapes. So next out with the acrylic paints, and then the varnish and I can see the next couple of bags beginning to take shape.

Please, please comment with your ideas of things or activities, or good books I could potentially include in these bags…

friends

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“She can’t be autistic, she has friends”…. (anon)

I must have heard this a hundred times! The truth is autistic people do have friends, want friendship and really value their friends. It’s also true that some of what makes up being a good friend and enjoying & understanding a friendship doesn’t come easily – in a sense that’s not different than it is for anyone, but the things that are difficult if you are autistic are there in every element of friendship everyday so it can get a bit complicated, exhausting and overwhelming at times it seems to me.

‘Once you have made friends, you have to work on your friendship. This is because you’re only going to benefit from a friendship .. if you continue to be friends with that person. Therefore, you need to use some friendship maintenance skills to keep the friendship going.

An analogy that might be helpful for this is learning to play a musical instrument … once you have mastered a skill such as playing a particular piece of music, you have to practice regularly to keep being  able to play that piece of music so that you maintain the skill in your memory’  (The independent woman’s handbook for super safe living on the autistic spectrum, Robyn Steward. p69)

A lot of the basic maintenance skills are things most people take for granted, most of us don’t remember having to consciously learn them, we are sometimes not even aware of them – they just happen when we are around our friends. Things like reading body language, hearing tone of voice changes, keeping up with the conversation, turn taking in conversation, noticing and understanding other people’s boundaries, likes and dislikes. These are all things that most autistic people have to consciously learn, and because most people aren’t aware how they learnt these skills it can be a very tough job to find someone to teach them!

Ongoing, ordinary friendship relies on these skills. For example, friends respond to each other’s feelings to be quick to comfort, say sorry or to share in their excitement, but people don’t express their feelings clearly and directly very often – more often through tone of voice, and body language alongside behaviour, and of course a reliance on a common understanding of how feelings are expressed in our culture, so there are a lot of different skills needed to be able to ‘see and hear’ a friends feelings in order to be able to be a good friend in response. If these skills have to be consciously learnt (and they’re not an exact science!) then this process takes more time, and is something that can go wrong quite quickly – and then be difficult to unravel and mend.

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Conversation is another ordinary part of friendship. But it is made more difficult if most people in a conversation seem to just know when it’s their turn to join in but to you it seems impossible to work out. The average way of learning turn taking in conversation is by noticing those raised eyebrow moments from parents or aunties when we were very small and just starting out; hearing the clearing of the throat of a grandparent and noticing the intent of it towards you, inferring it’s meaning as a reprimand or warning to wait. If you are autistic your brain just doesn’t learn by inference, and of course we’re also back to the not hearing tone of voice changes, not looking at people’s faces in the same way, not reading body language instinctively. These differences in learning mean that sometimes autistic people can dominate conversations unaware of other’s lack of interest or annoyance which can appear unfeeling or selfish, other autistic people sometimes never join in conversations in a group but wait to speak to just one person at a time which can appear very shy, withdrawn or uninterested.

‘Many people struggle to pick up on subtle social cues such as someone not sounding interested.For people on the autistic spectrum, this could be because you are monotropic (able to concentrate on only one thing at a time). Also, your sensory system may be mono-channel (concentrating on one sense at a time).’

(The independent woman’s handbook for super safe living on the autistic spectrum, Robyn Steward. p71)

It’s also very true that the context of any conversation makes a huge difference to how well these skills can be used even when they have been thought about and learnt. Many people who are autistic also have SPD (sensory processing disorder – or difference) which can mean they are vulnerable to being more quickly overwhelmed and so distracted by the environment around them – hearing all sounds equally rather than filtering out the ones not needed right now for example, or being in pain from the light that doesn’t seem too bright for anyone but you. Dealing with sensory overload (literally an overload of neuro-pathways) is not at all easy to do and still navigate a conversation well.

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One of the other different thing I’m noticing is just how difficult it can be in friendships when you are a very focused thinker. Many autistic people have very specific areas of intense interest which can hold their attention for an age, and at times can dominate their conversations, their choices in play, their imaginary world – at times pretty much everything. This can sometimes be difficult to bring into a friendship group, where other people have other interests and it is cultural for good friends to spend time enjoying and taking an interest in each other’s hobbies or interests. Again, a skill to learn. Sometimes it is even that the friendship itself is the intense interest and then it can get difficult when things change, or when new friends are also included, or when the friend’s boundaries over how often they feel comfortable about getting together don’t match. It can also be difficult in these moment to accept and understand that some people want lots of close friends.

Friendship is something I assume every parent worries over, and prays about for their children. For me it is also something I am constantly trying to dissect and understand better so I can anticipate hazards ahead and get teaching, showing and supporting the use of friendship maintenance skills. Because friends really matter, and we really value them.

it takes a long time to grow an old friend

 

 

calm woodland corner

Well, schools have finally broken up for the Christmas holidays, and we have our first visitors arriving tomorrow. So in preparation I spent some of today creating a calm corner for the girls (and anyone else of course!) to use when they need some space or need to work at calming down.

We have a little gap behind the sofa in the sitting room. It’s very small but maybe that is in its favour – it’s definitely a ‘one at a time’ kind of space!

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I have made a mobile above the space with paper snowflakes which moves and spins slowly as the air moves in the room. I have collected together some pine cones and wood, some laminated autumn leaves and brought a natural woodland feel right into the corner. T has a mood colour night light hedgehog so he’s moved in too.

Our scottie dog doorstop is soft and happily brings some weight onto a little one’s knees to ground them and bring a sense of safety. And our soft cuddly snowman sits ready for a squeeze.

To make use of the radiator that I can’t move out of the way, I have laminated some clip art woodland animals, and cut out some basic silhouette trees – added some magnets onto the backs and created a quick ‘make your own woodland scene’ which can be fiddled with, can inspire stories and become absorbing. As I cut the shapes out I tried to make sure there were no sharp corners or edges so it’s all smooth to touch.

Next I have made a lap size light box from a small household opaque plastic tub with a lid and some LED lights. I will put some tissue paper shapes and some coloured plastic counters that can be arranged on the lid and played around with enjoying the light.

Then I have collected some fidget toys, puzzles and sensory activities into a basket the other side of some cosy cushions. There are a lot of DIY ideas to try. We liked these…

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  • ‘our best bites’ have instructions for homemade snow globes
  • ‘red ted art’ has printable mesmerizing flextangles
  • ‘Views from a step stool’ has instructions for a Christmas themed sensory bag
  • DIY light box instructions from ‘the imagination tree’.
  • fabric marble maze instructions from Yvonne Reynolds (I’m making mine from felt, and tree shaped for my woodland calm corner).

But we also added a sand timer, a Christmas I spy jar we made last year using rice and little pictures and sequins, a tactile snowflake made from fluffy pipe cleaners and hair bobbles with big beads on, a couple of simple puzzles, a Christmas stencil with pens and a pad of paper for doodling, and a create your own story game that we have.

I like the printables for the calm down kit from ‘the chaos and the clutter’ which give suggestions for how to calm down. If I have time I will put something together on a woodland theme. Maybe ‘curl into a tight ball like a hedgehog’ or ‘take a deep breath like the owl flying’, ‘warm up the snowman with a tight cuddle’ ? Any suggestions welcome! …