Amazing what a difference it can make to get away from the routines! I was treated to a day out walking in Derbyshire with A. Now he can drive there are new opportunities for Mum-Son outings.
So we walked, and put the world to rights.
We climbed and scrambled and breathed in the views.
We had time to sit and take stock. And we wondered at creation, and pondered our inherent need to search for all that’s beyond ourselves and to ground ourselves in that narrative as people throughout history, in every culture have reached for God.
God’s eternal power and character cannot be seen. But from the beginning of creation, God has shown what these are like by all he has made. (Romans 1:20)
Of course we found a perfect place for cake and tea, in beautiful surroundings.
Rest matters. We need head-space, moments to regroup our thoughts and gather ourselves in the midst of so many demands and pulls on our attention. To breathe.
I’ve set myself the task of trying to get an idea out of my head and make it reality during the summer break. We are putting together some ‘worship together in the pews’ bags for people coming to church with babies & pre-school children. Of course I immediately want them to include some tactile visuals helping young children learn to navigate worship and identify the different elements that shape our worship.
What I’ve come up with as a starting point is one of those small ‘blankies’ with tags round the edge that babies love to hold and play with. Soft cotton, with wadding in-between so it has a satisfying squish to it.
I have lots of scraps of felt so I cut large colourful dots to applique on, and set to the task of embroidering the basic building blocks of worship onto them, making them tactile, colourful – and with words too for parents or grandparents to be sure they know what each symbol is!
Of course, I’ve no particular skill in sewing – and my embroidery is completely by eye rather than well planned out but as an idea I like it. Now I just need to decide on where to place them on the blanket and get them sewed on.
They could be in order like a visual timetable but given the size and shape – and the variations in services that we have – I think it will end up being more like an I spy challenge where each building block is spotted and pointed out as the service progresses. Those with a keen eye will notice that 2 blankets are in progress, and I’m thinking for the second the dots will have things to look out for in the church during the service that will also help spark conversation between carer and child about what worship is all about.
Also in the bags we’re imagining a young child friendly book of Bible stories that’s lovely for small hands to hold, and inviting for small people’s big imaginations, that can be used during the Bible reading. And some activities that can be an invitation to pray. Of course there’ll also be some quiet fidgets suitable for babies, perhaps I need to create a worship themed tactile busy book?!
Do you have similar bags available where you worship? What is in them? Any ideas welcome!!
This last 18 months in the Porter household has been challenging, and I find myself with a moment to pause and the energy to write so I thought I’d post some updates.
So I have coffee, and chocolate and probably a couple of minutes of uninterrupted thinking time! Here goes…
I’ll begin with A, who finished A-levels last academic year and took up a place at Cambridge University to study Modern & Medieval languages – Spanish & Italian. He’s now completed year one and is back at home meeting up with friends and travelling for the summer.
B has been at home with us and has welcomed a new arrival into our household – the gorgeous, and rather cheeky puppy ‘Kai’. So there is training, bathing, vet visits, playing, zooming around in the garden and lots of cuddles to fit into each week. But look at that face – irresistible!
Of course, Kai has grown fast, now over one and pushing boundaries as she continues maturing. But she’s a quick learner, and very intuitive so we’re keeping on with the training – B taking the lead & the rest of us ready to support.
So, T – well it’s been quite a year and a bit. T reached the end of Primary school and transitioned to our Secondary school, where I work. We knew this would be incredibly challenging for her, and so had started the process of securing an EHCP (Education and Health Care Plan). During Autumn term we were turned down for an EHCP assessment and filled in paper work to take the LEA to tribunal. The LEA conceded before the tribunal hearing and the process of assessment began. Meanwhile T was struggling to cope with the number of challenges, sensory and expectations of Secondary. There are so many teachers and classrooms to adjust to, so many times a day to move through the building alongside so many other students, worries about homework, toilets, friends, timings, eating in the lunch hall. She was getting burned out very quickly and attendance was dropping rapidly.
The assessment process resulted in an EHCP written well – a miracle – but naming the same Secondary school as her provision. By this time T had been completely out of school for a few months and unable even to cope with the bare minimum reduced timetable of getting through the school doors to meet a key worker for an hour each day. I filled in tribunal paperwork again to ask the LEA to reconsider the named provision. There is a specialist school nearby, with experience and expertise in social and communication differences where she would be supported by staff fully aware of the sensory needs and the effects of demands on T. After submitting the application for tribunal we were granted a hearing in Feb 2024 – but we pushed, and Andrew wrote to our local MP for support to move things forward. Amazingly, against all the odds the LEA reassessed and has agreed to name the specialist school. The school themselves in the meantime had been preparing a space for T and so after half term just gone we were able to begin the process of transitioning into the school. Starting from the premise that we need to go slow, and build trust – and try not to have to take steps back too often, we have been able to get T through the doors of the school when invited. She is communicating with her key worker, is settling into her room, loves the therapy dog ‘Bella’ and is just beginning to meet other students and engage in some learning activities again. She even managed to eat there this week!
It’s been a lot for all of us. It’s tested us, and we’ve reached tiredness we haven’t before – now that’s saying something. But God has so clearly been at work providing what we have needed, along the way and now as T settles into this school which flexes around her and fits like a glove. I have felt so supported by my work colleagues at the Secondary school where I am Chaplain through all the ups and downs, the failures and triumphs of this last academic year.
So – as you can imagine it’s been full on for Andrew & myself since I was last able to update you all – and I am hopeful that we are turning a corner with some of the latest intense craziness – of course we are the Porters, there’s always some to be found! But ministry continues; in the school where we have been welcoming around 60-70 to opt-in worship services twice a half term, and I am able to come alongside so many young people to encourage and to listen; in the community (still loving being involved in Girlguiding, making a safe space for girls to develop their confidence, skills and faiths) and in the church here with all the different groups and ministries; and of course at home through patience and imagination, listening and growing.
Much of my non-work time at the moment is spent in the dining room – or more specifically in Flower-lake City, T’s playmobil town. As you can see over the Christmas break a huge number of different buildings and sets have been put together, carefully arranged to form a town with a main street alongside an out of town area for the stables and the conservation and animal rescue center. It has given us the opportunity for hours (yes literally hours, I really wouldn’t want to keep count!) of storytelling, co-operative play (as long as I do & say exactly as I’m told of course; any of you with any experience of PDA will know what I’m talking about) imagination and stretching our thinking, and sharing outside the box.
As you can imagine it’s not always smooth sailing, there have of course been the usual obstacles because it is incredibly difficult for T to share the imaginative space and story tell with me. Sometimes we have to replay till I get it right, other times I get away with a suggestion or my own twist on what’s required – quite often with a lot of giggles. We’ve had a few moments when cats have wanted to join in too, which have proved a little tricky to navigate without meltdown. Those moments have brought back vivid memories of having to call A a ‘Giant’ whenever B’s games were changed or ‘ruined’ by her baby brother crawling or walking through – especially when he picked things up en route. Giving A a character took the intensity of the reaction away from him a little and over time became more of an expected part of the stories we played out with the dolls, marbles or whatever figures of choice we had organised.
The very first building as you go into Flower-lake city is a church. Over Christmas we had an exciting event in the community. Izzy & Charlie got married – we had no church at the time, and so we created a very outdoor wedding which suited them very well. But T got thinking, and Daddy made suggestions and our community church was created. A building that was in the loft (thank you Aunty E!), origionally a school building was found and cleaned and with a bit of card and imagination transformed into a welcoming church. Rev Ricky joined the town as our minister – still in need of a planned wardrobe change so she has a collar but very much becoming part of the furniture of the town.
What’s been so lovely to watch is the way Rev Ricky has got involved and the way the community has been using the building. I’ve found it so exciting to see T’s own experiences of church being played out so positively. To be honest sometimes (esp over the pandemic) I wonder if church is a positive for T at all.. or if she even wonders at why we do what we do. So what an encouragement. Rev Ricky has come in to do assemblies in the school – which is next door to the church, just as our church infants school is where we live. Most days she fetched the snacks and drinks for the school kids and drops them off. PE lessons have happened in the church space – with the stack of chairs neatly at the back out of the way of course – health and safety!
And when it’s church day in Flower-lake City a lot of the families come to a service, during which the children have their own teaching groups – acorns and mighty oaks (I’m pretty sure B helped name these groups one day when she popped in) – and they have their own notice boards to display their art work in the church building. Next plans Rev Ricky has are a mid week acorns group for the babies, and a movie night – always a favourite here where we live. I’m not going to lie, its also been a lovely excuse to do some mini crafting at the same time as trying my hardest to assist in the play as I’m asked to!
The trouble with lock down is that it is magnifying our weak spots! It is intense being together 24/7 for this length of time!! (Or is that just us – please tell me it isn’t)
Loving each other as a family cannot stay as words only, this pressurized time needs us to step up big time and become much more conscious of our actions towards each other. Not at all easy! Our actions means our tone of voice, our assumptions (often based on un-forgiven baggage lets face it), our body language and facial expressions (which of course we don’t all read in the same way which adds another layer of complexity), our acts of service and choices that affect each other.
The Bible gives us a daunting description of family love…
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
from 1 Cor 13
… and of course shows us what that love looks like in practice in the life and death of Jesus. The passage finishes with ‘LOVE NEVER FAILS’. Oh help!
Truth is, when I rely on my ability to ‘try, try, try again’ with even just one of the adjectives in the passage I run out. My fragile, incomplete ability to love is not enough to never fail my family. It is true that being a Christian is not to be perfect – but rather to know we need perfecting by the grace of God.
This week one of the new words for T in her school work at home was ‘invoke’, to actively invite and welcome in, to call upon the presence of. A word that for me conjours up a picture of embrace… which is not simply me embracing an abstract concept when it comes to God, but rather a real living, holy presence who is also actively invested in the embrace! I’m reminded of Jesus’ parable of the prodigal’s return and the Father who out ran the shame and disgrace to reach his child and clothe him with honour, and crown him with love. We are invited into an embrace full of love – love so abundantly given that there is enough to fill us to overflowing.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Col 3:12-14
We still ‘try, try, try again’ – but wrapping the clothes God gives us really close, fully embracing his loving grace-filled presence (yep – on a good day!!), allowing his love to embrace us – our thinking, our actions and words.
clearly nurturing 