Summer Festival

 

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a little patch of blue sky was spotted during the week!

For the last few years we have been going to the Christian summer festival, New Wine. Last Year I was reflecting on how important it has become for us as a family because it is a week of intensive community with our church family (both locally and families who camp with us from other churches). The week following New Wine we meet up with parts of our extended family for another week of camping in lovely Somerset. Inevitably we get chatting about the Christian festivals we each go to, some to Spring Harvest, Word Alive, some to Keswick. This year we chatted a fair amount about the logistics of taking our families – all in some way shaped by additional needs – to such large, noisy, intensive festivals. On paper it sounds mildly ridiculous to attempt such a thing, so what does it work out like in practice?

These are some of the ways we as a family handle the logistics of camping, being in community, going to the meetings and events, sleeping, eating, staying clean enough… and growing in our faith:

Eating

When we first began the adventure of camping the eating side of things was actually really difficult. B has not ever found eating easy, her diet at that time was really very restricted and her usual routine involved managing to eat just enough sitting on her own with the TV on simply to dampen the stress and panic enough to face the food. So eating while camping was tough for her. Most of her ‘safe foods’ were possible to store and prep in a tent so that was something, but of course no TV, no space, family and wider church community right there all the time.

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Plus whenever a bug, fly or wasp came even remotely near her she was panicked. So at first food was eaten (or looked at) rather stressfully outside with the rest of us, but by the end of each mealtime B was usually quite distressed and sitting in the bedroom, zipped in on her own. Over the years this level of stress about camping mealtimes has eased a little and most of the time B manages to join us and eat something. I think in part this is a reflection of a wider change about how B is coping with meals together all the time. Needless to say wasps are still a problem! This year with 5 adults around our table we still had a bit of a job dealing efficiently with them and keeping the meal on track!

As a church group we eat together in ‘family clusters’ – so everyone is included, and supported. This year we had the joy of 3 extra adults eating with us. All known really well by our kids, and all extremely accepting and patient of how our family life happens. Their help was invaluable at mealtimes, getting the food started when Andrew or I were still walking back after fetching T from a group, helping involve the kids in washing up and generally keeping us cheery throughout even the most dysfunctional moments, and bringing the first evening meal so we didn’t need to cook after putting up the tent and sorting the kids out on the day we arrived.

We have a menu that we only have to tweak each year as dietary needs change, and alongside the menu we have 3 shopping lists! One is a list of what needs to be prepared or bought and packed to take with us (we prep 2 main meals in advance and take them frozen.). The second is a shopping list for Andrew to fetch while I register the kids with their groups after the tent has gone up on arrival day. The third is to be bought on the day off, including things to take to the BBQ with our whole church group that evening.

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a bit wet for BBQ but great food & company! (Thank you A.Wall for the photo)

Sleeping

What can I say??? We’re not naturally great at sleeping anyway! This year though we all slept in the same bedroom section and I think, miraculously, we possibly got more sleep than usual!

Washing

There are shower blocks dotted about the showground where New Wine is held. There are also sinks in all the loo blocks which lots of people use for washing faces and doing teeth though we do that in the tent where it’s less crowded and distracting. The showers are quite small and there is almost always a queue, it’s also fair to say that they are a little hit and miss – usually a mixture of hot moments with unpredictable cold ones thrown in. This year we also faced the challenge of some of the showers losing water pressure – not easy with shampoo already applied but only a dribble of water running down the wall to rinse with!

When B, A & T were small enough we took a large-ish flexi bucket for baths in the tent. It was a bit of a slow process heating a few kettles to add to cold water to get the temp right, but it was clean, enough room for me to help, and no queuing, as they grew a small paddling pool also came in handy in a similar way. Now they are all too big, but we have managed finding times to use the showers and have coped. And with T this year I simply haven’t pushed it – baby wipes took care of it! There is a disability accessible shower on site, with enough room for a parent to help a larger child. We may well look into using that next time.

I take travel hand wash detergent with us and try to wash tea towels and any other essentials on the afternoon of the day off. This year was so wet I didn’t get the chance – nothing would have dried. But of course the wet, and the festival mud created a lot of washing, and ‘Our Place’ (New Wine’s inclusion teams) came to the rescue washing the things we really needed – especially T’s ‘apple blanky’ when it was dropped in a puddle.

Meetings

There are kids groups right through from baby to late teens, and registration forms are taken between certain times on arrival day, and the kids are given wrist bands. Most of the groups have a couple of sessions each day, babies fewer and older teens more choices but a similar amount of time.

There is a thorough system of dropping off and collecting, with more than one check of your ID, the handover card you gave in that day, and the child’s wristband. It takes a bit of time but works well. T didn’t like the wristband at all this year, and kept taking it off and ‘putting it somewhere safe’ – so on a couple of the days that she went to her group we had to get her an alternative, approved ID badge from the admin team at the back of the venue.

The groups are very busy and so they are quite noisy even without the music & use of microphones. There are stage lights and live worship bands, and in the younger groups often team in costume for the upfront parts of the session. Kids are in smaller groups with team looking after them and always get dropped off and picked up in that same place with those team members. For the younger groups the sessions are very tightly structured and include upfront storytelling, silly games and worship and prayer and also active games. craft and chat in the smaller groups.

This year T struggled again and we were so very thankful for the Our Place team. Our Place have team in every venue supporting children to help them join in with their group. They also have a break out space near the side or back for times when kids need to escape or some calming down space. They have fidgets, a visual timetable and ear defenders at the ready! We needed support at drop off, and T needed support during the sessions she attended. Our Place also have a separate kids, youth and adult venue that is open a bit later than the others as a safe haven for those who can’t settle or who can’t manage a whole session. T loved the kids venue and most evenings we went there rather than her group having used all her energy up during the rest of the day.

Some mornings were also just too much and we took T with us to the main arena. Getting out my emergency distractions and other little games that I always have to hand.

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B, A & T all have boxes or tins in their rooms where we put all the little oddmenty toys – from those fast food freebies, to the one off homemade and all things small and unique. I pack up a small bag of these when we go for days out or away for longer like these weeks. I also like to have bubbles (the small tubes sold as party favours are great), fidgets, little notebooks and pens (the ones with multiple colours in just one pen are my favourite – space is of the essence, I have to carry it everywhere!). This year A & I turned a little mint tin into a habitat for a tiny dinosaur complete with rocks trees and volcano – a whole world in a tiny portable tin – perfect!

It sometimes feels frustrating that it’s not straight forward getting to sessions I want to get to – this year I didn’t make it to many things in the evenings at all – but over the years I have found these times when I take a little one to an alternative venue (either Our Place, or Stepping Stones when T was little – a large play space, with tea coffee and the main arena being shown live on a screen) to be full of valuable conversation, chances to connect with other parents often feeling the same frustration and the team in these venues just as ready to pray with you and to talk discipleship!

Our Place run seminars for parents in the mornings which have been a place of gentle challenge (ok sometimes challenge never feels gentle!) encouragement and prayerful support. I have grown such a lot in my faith as I have been a part of the Our Place family network. The encouragement and safety of the space they provide has helped me to go on wrestling, to dare to step out and step up, to trust and hope in deeper ways as we share experience together, know that whoever we sit with or pray with there is understanding and acceptance. This year we looked together at the story of Ruth and reflected together on feeling uprooted, the frustration and pot-boundness circumstances can sometimes make us feel; how God provides, often through the support and help of others – like Ruth’s Boaz; and how God turns the situation right around breaking the chains around those women and leading them to fruitfulness. Plenty for me to treasure and to keep on reflecting on in the midst of piles of muddy washing, a garden that has grown quite a bit while we were away, a tent in need of drying, camping gear to put away, a house that is in disarray and trying to help the kids adjust to down time at home, while Andrew goes back to work!

 

 

 

snapshot

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me next, my turn, can I, can I!

Thinking about my role as a Mum (peacekeeper, advisor, cheer leader, servant) for my gaggle of Kids…

3:05 – time to set off to fetch T from school. I am near the end of a meeting of diocesan reps talking about disability awareness in the churches in this area. Andrew is on pick up today. I exchange phones numbers and connect with people, hoping T will be okay with the change in plan… I had forgotten to let her know this morning.

3:25 – get back home. Quick check where (and how) everybody is. Has A got out on his paper round alright? What mood is T in? – it’s swimming lesson later, and the usual teacher is on holiday, will it be impossible or not? A clingy cuddle or few later and I’m getting swim kit ready, and ironing a shirt for Andrew & a dress for me – we’re all planning to be out tonight briefly for a farewell party for a colleague and good friend. Wonder (and fear?) how that will go!

4:10 – have checked in with B upstairs, she’s shutting the world out but okay. So tired at the moment though. Now time to get T into shoes again and walk to the leisure centre.

4:30 – Andrew is ready to drive us down so we won’t be late, now need to persuade T into the car. As I strap her in I’m letting her know it will be a different teacher. She’s had supply before and begins to try to work out which it will be – I know there’s no way of knowing till we get there and see, but nevertheless the trying to work it out has to run its course.

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4:35 – we pause to give best friend D a wave and hug on the way past the first waiting area, it’s the routine. Now we can go & get changed ready to swim. The usual cubical has it’s baby changing mat down, so we sort that and discuss at great length why it was left down & who had used it. Hair has to go in a bobble. Pick up the towel and go through to our waiting area.

4:45 – friend from school arrives and having seen, and found acceptable, the supply swimming teacher, she and her friend go to the bench ready for the lesson to begin. I take a minute to catch up with Mums – I can see T finding it difficult to confirm her name to the new teacher. She gets through it, and they walk to the pool.

5:15 – another good lesson, she gives it all she’s got. And she has done her best to try putting her face in water, and pushing off from the side unaided. She has had quite a few good tries at swimming independently on her front. It looks hard work on those hyper mobile joints and muscles of hers!

5:18 – the cubical we use is already occupied, and our bag has been moved. We find our things and we negotiate a different cubical. We have to use the toilet again before we can get dry and changed, which has its’ own checks and routines. We finally get back into clothes.

wisdom5:25 – Agreed time to meet Andrew for the lift home to be quicker than usual. We’re not at the door yet. T wants to get a snack from the vending machine near the changing rooms, it what we do every other week (and it’s that week) but we need to hurry. I suggest the machine near the door instead and reluctantly we set off. Andrew has come to find us and hurry us to the car (he’s got food ready for them and we need to be out again just after 6:30). T is finds it hard to deal with skipping the vending machine. I find it hard to keep us walking to the car at the same time as finding the right words and the right moments for hugs or space… so hard to know which will be helpful in each moment.

5:35 – home and sitting them up for tea. The paper round went okay, check; there will be homework to do when we get back with B, check; T hasn’t got an outfit in mind for the next thing which makes things a little easier in some ways, check; Andrew has had a phone call, someone needs a vicar tonight so we agree a time to leave so he can fit that in afterwards; go and get changed.

6:00 – nearly changed. B unsure what to wear. Invite said smart casual which is vague rather than definite but not free for all, tricky negotiations. It’s very tiring agreeing outfits that could be tried on, tiring for B to feel comfortable with a decision. At the same time I negotiate T into an outfit. Lose the battle over socks – flip flops will have to do! I carry on trying to be available to help B. T goes downstairs, can I hear more discussion about footwear?? B reluctant & ready. Time to get going. Grab a few extra distractions & fiddles for my bag. Andrew has persuaded T to let him brush her hair (second brush this week, it’s knotty!)! That makes me smile. Now to the car.

6:34 – who pushed (touched) who? Can I find the right words to calm this before we arrive? I worry, this may all go horribly wrong. Don’t want to spoil our friend’s evening if it does. We’re there. I remind them to hold the door open till they are all out of the car, I remind them about trying to behave quietly, sensibly, without arguing or hitting or kicking or annoying … We are greeted warmly at the door, drinks (glass cups – aghh!!!), hug with our friend – “there are puppies in the garden, come this way”….

8:00 – and we’ve done it… no glasses broken, no meltdowns, some conversations, puppies have been adored, photo with our friend, leaving the puppies behind achieved – to the car, and home. Next, bedtime for T, A needs to relax, want to find out how his day went, B needs to do homework – I’ll need to be there to support that, wonder how long Andrew will be & how it will go, never easy when it’s someone you don’t know…

It’s a small snap shot of a small part of an average, long day. What comes to mind as I jot it down is just how much I need wisdom for my actions, my words, my attitudes; discernment; tact & diplomacy! Thank goodness I know someone who loves to gift people with just those things…because today is another average, long day.

 

present in the moment

I’m tired! Nothing new, I know.

But Monday was still sunny and T wanted to play in the garden, with the bat and ball. For a while I threw, she missed then picked the ball and batted it back in my direction (mostly!), then of course I ‘ran’, fetched the ball and we did it all again.

After a short while I sat down on the grass while T fetched the ball for once. She came over and sat with me, and we began to get comfy and become aware of all that was going on around us. We watched a fat bumbling bumble bee crawling in and out of a flower, and the buzz it made when squeezing out. We saw it’s little legs laden with yellow pollen.

And God saw that it was good!

(Gen 1:10)

We noticed the colours of the wild flowers coming up with the lawn… clover purple, buttercups bright yellow , daisies white but blushed pink at the edges. To get a closer look I lay down on the grass, and T climbed on my back. And we began to relax and rest. As we watched and listened to the garden we saw a pied wagtail coming and going, collecting insects. Sometimes running, sometimes jumping or hopping, sometimes slow with the tail bobbing. T noticed it always went to the same tree when it’s beak was stuffed full. So we chatted about whether there might be a nest there. Was this the same wagtail each time, or was it mum & then dad taking turns?

They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! (Lk 12:24)

We enjoyed it for a while (maybe even 5 mins – that’s a remarkable time with T still & absorbed with me there too) and then we tiptoed over to the tree to see what we could see. Up in the tree directly above us, almost within reach were two soft grey, downy, fluff-balls with bobbing tails! Baby wagtails! T was so excited, we ran in to fetch a camera and each had a go at trying to stand very still and film these wonderful birds. What a treat!

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It’s always a treat, a gift to share a moment like that with one of my children. We wonder together at the beauty of God’s creation. It’s intricate detail, it’s variety. I wonder at the care over the detail, each little baby bird known and loved by it’s creator. Each bird designed and decorated in joy. T found a tiny feather under the tree and ran in to put it in her feather jar – each one collected carefully, each a memory of wonder and discovery.

pine cone prayers

A couple of weeks ago I went for a walk around our town with my three and a few others, and when we walked through the park we started to pick up pine cones. Nothing new, I can’t resist them. Anyway a whole bag of them have been waiting patiently since, for me to do something with them.

It may be a completely crazy idea but I was trying to decide how to create a prayer board for the kitchen – you know somewhere to put photos of people or verses to remind you to pray while you are busy with kitcheny things – and I got to thinking about my bag of pine cones. I mentioned my idea to Andrew who made a brilliant suggestion of one of those deep photo frames that you can put 3D displays into. Today we found just the thing, medium, plain unfinished wood.

As soon as we got home the hot glue gun was out & plugged in!

First I mixed up a colour with what was to hand, kids ready mix poster paints. Then I quickly went over just the front of the frame, leaving the sides and back plain and removed the glass completely.

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while I was doing this part, Andrew came past & commented that we do a lot of these kinds of things now I write this blog. It’s good for us then, I said. Followed by, what a good idea let me get my camera!

By the time I had done the small amount  of painting the hot glue was hot – oozing onto the kitchen work surface… so I began to rummage through my bag of pine cones choosing a mix of heights and sizes, and placing them very higgledy  piggledy into the frame. I was aiming for un-uniformed, interestingly textured – the more sticky out bits the better, and little gaps are good, I want places to nestle photos and prayer prompts in amongst them.

I turned just one upside down, to be at the centre. I then added a couple of really small cones in one corner, and added some feathers and a shiny conker just off centre – because there was some hot glue showing.

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I love the finished thing, it would be great in the middle of a table or hung on the wall. We are planning to hang it, within reach of B, A & T so they can see it and add to it when they want to. So my hope is that it will be a practical and beautiful place to display prayer prompts and will help me especially to focus my prayer for others as I chat with God in the everyday, and that perhaps it will be useful to the rest of the family too. I’ll post a picture of it in use asap.

Do you have a prayer board, or book, or space? How do you use it together as a family?

 

 

the votes are in

love joy peace

I vividly remember my first ever vote. Walking in to the Polling Station with my Dad, who took me to the desk and proudly announced to everyone and anyone that it was my first time to vote. We registered, went to the booth to cast our vote, posted it into the black box and went home! I don’t know who felt more proud, Dad or me – I certainly remember the feeling of the sheer privilege of it, and the weightiness of the process of reading up, carefully considering, praying & voting.

The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know. Pray especially for rulers and their governments to rule well so we can [all] be quietly about our business of living simply, in humble contemplation. This is the way our Savior God wants us to live. (1 Tim 2: 1-4 MSG)

We grew up discussing together. Questioning, discovering and finding out for ourselves. Matters of faith, ethics, the big questions of life were mulled over. Sermons were discussed at Sunday lunch. Politics was also a significant part of family conversation. We knew (or at least I’m fairly sure we knew) how Mum & Dad probably voted, but they modeled a way of weighing up policies from different parties, holding them up against the Bible and our experience and knowledge of our faith, questioning them and ourselves. They modeled a sense of responsibility to take each opportunity to vote seriously, showed us in their attitudes and actions the ways that policies were not simply academic but affected people. We were not told which party we should vote for, we were shown how to vote. I’m so grateful for their lives of faith and the example they gave us. I’m thankful too that over the years they have made room for our questions, our doubts, our naivety, our simplistic thinking. That they did not belittle but encouraged.

So today I have thought a lot about that first experience of voting, and how my parents made space for us to grow and discover for ourselves – and how that spurs me on to keep intentionally making that same safe space for mine as they grow. I have, as usual, missed my Dad’s voice and encouragement in the run up to today. We have definitely not stopped the big discussions, not stopped asking the difficult questions whenever we get the chance to all be together – and the older ones in the next generation are getting into the swing of it very ably too now – but it is one of those parts of life where it still feels very stark that his voice and his wisdom is not in the mix anymore since he died!

What would he be reminding us of now that the votes are in, and the counting begins? Whatever tomorrow brings I think Dad would be reminding me of my calling to Christ-likeness, in my loving and living, in my choices and my thinking. So I am reminding myself of Jesus’ ‘manifesto’ – and praying for more grace! (so much more needed as always!)

When he stood up to read, he was handed the scroll of the prophet Isaiah. Unrolling the scroll, he found the place where it was written,

God’s Spirit is on me;
    he’s chosen me to preach the Message of good news to the poor,
Sent me to announce pardon to prisoners and
    recovery of sight to the blind,
To set the burdened and battered free,
    to announce, “This is God’s year to act!”

 

He rolled up the scroll, handed it back to the assistant, and sat down. Every eye in the place was on him, intent.  (Lk 4:17-19 MSG)

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